🍭🕷️ Unreview: Kafka's Cheeseburger
Mar. 26th, 2026 10:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
solo_knightUnreview: Kafka’s Cheeseburger
What is it?
A surreal game where a cheeseburger appears in your home and you decide what to do, and roll what else happens to it. You have a Kafka Index that you track.
Is it playable out of the box?
Probably if you’re not revolted by cheeseburgers.
I’m sorry. I’m perfectly capable to put myself into the shoes of a chaos goblin or a wizard, I will move mountains with my mind, but I cannot simulate the eating of a cheeseburger without feeling nauseous. Rat, onna stick, with ketchup? Can suspend reality. Cheese? Nope.
Amendments:
GET IT OFF ME.
Tools
2d6
Price:
$4.97
Verdict
🍭This one is weird
🕷️Get it off me
This, unfortunately, was one of the first solo games I encountered and it put me off them for a good while.
It has an interesting mechanic where you roll a d12 for results but might be able to choose between more than one category: 1, prime, divisible by 3/4/5, so 5 can be ‘prime’ or ‘divisible by 5’
Unfortunately all prompts are cheeseburger-related.
You journal ‘this happens, what do I do’ and keep rolling until you reach an exit condition.
It’s a whimsical little thing that should not take too long to complete, but even turning this into a cheese-free vegan experience without tomatoes and without the bun (hold the ketchup) I cannot bring myself to ‘play’.
I am, in fact, so repulsed by it that a new verdict was born. I don’t actually hate spiders.
What is it?
A surreal game where a cheeseburger appears in your home and you decide what to do, and roll what else happens to it. You have a Kafka Index that you track.
Is it playable out of the box?
Probably if you’re not revolted by cheeseburgers.
I’m sorry. I’m perfectly capable to put myself into the shoes of a chaos goblin or a wizard, I will move mountains with my mind, but I cannot simulate the eating of a cheeseburger without feeling nauseous. Rat, onna stick, with ketchup? Can suspend reality. Cheese? Nope.
Amendments:
GET IT OFF ME.
Tools
2d6
Price:
$4.97
Verdict
🍭This one is weird
🕷️Get it off me
This, unfortunately, was one of the first solo games I encountered and it put me off them for a good while.
It has an interesting mechanic where you roll a d12 for results but might be able to choose between more than one category: 1, prime, divisible by 3/4/5, so 5 can be ‘prime’ or ‘divisible by 5’
Unfortunately all prompts are cheeseburger-related.
You journal ‘this happens, what do I do’ and keep rolling until you reach an exit condition.
It’s a whimsical little thing that should not take too long to complete, but even turning this into a cheese-free vegan experience without tomatoes and without the bun (hold the ketchup) I cannot bring myself to ‘play’.
I am, in fact, so repulsed by it that a new verdict was born. I don’t actually hate spiders.
